April 1, 2008

My Luke.

I often wondered throughout my pregnancy how I was going to possibly be able to love my second son as much as I loved my first. I worried about how well I would make the transition from one to two children and about how Jonah would feel about his brother and about me when I had less time to spend with him. Somehow God managed to address these fears the moment he arrived. I was overwhelmed with him. And when Jonah saw him for the first time, he was overwhelmed with him. And as I sit here typing this, I have a little one asleep on my lap and my big boy playing with a toy at my feet. Every now and again, Jonah looks up and says, "B, A, B, Y - baby!" Is there such a thing more precious? Today, I feel content and complete, knowing that this is the way things are supposed to be.

Isn't it funny how we often spend so much time consumed in thought, fretting about that which we have no control, only to find that when that moment arrives God has already done the work for us? He has been gently working on my heart these last nine months, creating a special space for Luke to reside and leaving more than ample room for my sweet Jonah bear.

My Luke entered into the world at 2:43 p.m. on Friday, March 28. I had visited the doctor the day before and was informed that I was 4 cm dilated and almost completely effaced. As I was still measuring small and was technically in active labor, he made the decision to induce the next day. Thankfully, my parents had arrived earlier in the day to take care of Jonah. Later that evening, Todd and I received a call from the hospital asking us to check at 5 a.m. the next morning.

My friend, Mary Ann - a labor and delivery nurse - met Todd, my mom and me at the hospital at 6 a.m. and helped us check in. She came in on her day off just to help deliver me, and let me just say how wonderfully calming it was to see a familiar face in the midst of the hospital protocol. She put in my IV and started the petocin. About a hour later, Dr. Fairbrother arrived to break my water.

By 1:00 p.m., I was fully dilated and ready to push, but Dr. Fairbrother had to complete an emergency cesarean and asked me to wait about an hour and let Luke's head drop a bit lower. She returned at 2:00 p.m. to deliver baby. Despite my pushing, for some reason, Luke would not move down further. Dr. Fairbrother was a bit worried because his heart rate dropped a bit. Thankfully, after 45 minutes of pushing, Luke was finally born occiput posterior or "sunny side up." Dr. Fairbrother said normally when the baby is in that position, it usually results in an emergency C-section. Aside from a bit of bruising, both Luke and I were fine.

I will never forget the first time I saw Luke's face and heard his tiny cry and how that cry negated all pain and fear. And now we are home together, just me and my boys, learning each other and what it's like to be four instead of three. What a blessing.